Confessions in the last drift Apart

 

Satiated in an imminent private show

reveal to me all of your forms

Reflected mirrored mass of crystals

a clandestine of lethargic energy

The source is me

 the nucleus is you

 Vitality reverberated in provision

so badly desired

 Time is nothing.

 You permeate me with stillness

 wedded in your frozen image

 Ceasing in the cradling metronome

 glacier to river to sea, further from me

 Let me excavate you

all of you

Dissolve the obstructed vacancy

 immerse me into the frozen aortic currents

 I am a drunkard in the vacillations

 licking the internal salt rim

A honeyed smile formed

 brackish burned lungs

Phagocytize stories I created with numbers

derivatives I thought could save you

Numbers are just the mask I wear

can I remove it now

Full and empty we can share our secrets

as lovers do

Everybody has to confess.

I wanted to save you,

But

 answers were translated into misbeliefs

Frogs kissed and shoes missed

as if science is a fairy tale

 Surrendered then thyself to selfless actions,

  Still

  self-service was more self-serving

Day by day carving you away spatula in hand,

Though

hungry I attempted to wait

 Refuse cows, pigs, and chickens

 deserving of life too, after all

Ephemeral guilt is a cold blanket

bring home the bacon, it’s tasty

Racing along other rats pushing

pedalled gas to the metal

Finally

Got the gears cranking

cycling the lanes of surpassing sweat

Yet

Rained in, took the path more taken

 choking you with every breath of ease

Sorry, it was too hard

 truth is inconvenient

 Hold the ghostly revenge

we both die cursing the traffic jams

Placation awaits

 I melt within the warmth of your corpse

 As a temporary overture

I’ll tweeze the suffocation

Force fed to you

soup of carbon and methane

Bon Appétit.

At death, we ask of our life

 But decaf will never stimulate

 Your life, you unknown vagabond

needs to be given breath

 Jurisdiction in configured rain

  silhouettes fallen from snowflakes

 To think of you as material entity

shrinks you

Emerged here clarity is clear

 science need not dominate philosophy

 You are more

than what most could muster

 Only those indigenous, offered a majestic privy

 they will sing your requiem

Hymn number 154 please:

Melting permafrost, geopolitical warfare

Thoughts of you as you fade

Eroded lakes, massive snowfalls

Hope for you as you fade

Emerging and invasive new species

Love for you as you fade

Flocks of birds flown, farewell to fish

 Cursing of you as you fade

 Our time is now ancient

despite desires to sail away with you

But the Me and I

more illustriousness than the You and we

So go, without a farewell

 for all ignored lovers must leave

 Impermanence is a buoyant aftertaste

expunged in tattooed ships

Further away

We drift.

 

 

 




 


 
 

Jessica Laine is a scientist, environmentalist, feminist and concerned citizen. She wonders what we can do to reduce our ecological burden, console humanity, shatter the glass ceiling without cutting anyone, empower the impoverished, love beyond love, feel in the numbness of trivialities undermining society. To make a difference in the world, she obtained a PhD, and she examines the impacts of environmental exposures on human health. Jessica analyses data and tears down academic walls. To activate that difference in the world she writes.